How should we treat divorced Christians?

How do we treat and minister to those of our Christian family who have been through the throes of divorce?  Certainly, not every divorcee is cut from the same cloth.  Some may have given up on their marriages, but many did not.  A great many are the victim of a mate's sexual unfaithfulness.  Others did not ask for the divorce, but had no power or choice in the matter. Yet, whatever facts describe the divorced Christian's circumstance, we must keep some important things in mind.

• Divorced Christians are still our spiritual family.
• Divorced Christians are likely struggling with loneliness and isolation.
• Divorced Christians are coping with several losses: loss of identity, loss of role and task, loss of relationships, loss of security, etc.
• Divorced Christians may be concerned about perception--how others view them or what judgments others make about them.
• Divorced Christians feel misunderstood, like others do not understand that through which they are going.
• Divorced Christians matter to God just as much as Christian couples and families.

What can we do to minister to divorced Christians?

• Do not pretend nothing has happened in their lives.
• Do not avoid them; to the contrary, reach out to them and love them.
• Do include them in church programs and activities, being mindful that divorced Christians are often overlooked.
• Do remember to include them when you pray.
• Do extend fellowship and hospitality to them.

God loves and cares for sparrows and says His children, all His children, are of much more value than those birds (Lk. 12:6-7).  Some of our most talented, useful, and caring Christians just happen to have been divorced.  Let us determine to show them that we know such a fact does not negate their value to the kingdom of God.  In some circumstances, it may increase that value.  

 

Neal Pollard

Elbert Hubbard

"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words."

Elbert Hubbard, American editor, publisher, and writer (1856-1915*)

First Corinthians commentary:  Get the new First Corinthians commentary from www.abiblecommentary.com.  Preview the First Corinthians commentary through Google books at http://bit.ly/dfw86d.  Other Bible commentary material from www.abiblecommentary.com includes a FREE on-line Romans commentary:  http://bit.ly/3MRU5I  

 

A sermon on Mary and Martha - Luke 10:38-42

Intro:.
A...Today's.woman.has.no.easy.task..
......1...She.has.appliances.and.conveniences.within.her.home.to.make.the.household.chores.easier....
...........a..."Stuff".has.changed....
...........b...There.were.no.microwave.ovens,.ice-maker.refrigerators,.cell.phones,.and.many.of.the.other.modern..
................technologies.found.in.today's.home..
......2...Yet.in.spite.of.all.these.changes.that.supposedly.add.to.the.convenience.of.the.home,.women.today.are.busier.
...........than.ever..
...........a...Expectations.have.changed.(just.as.their.kitchens.have.changed)....
...........b...Today.she.is.not.only.expected.to.cook.the.bacon,.she.has.to.help.bring.it.home.as.well...(Even.though.she.may.
................work.40.hours.on.the.job,.she.is.still.expected.to.be.the.main.housekeeper—to.keep.the.house,.cook.the.
................meals,.wash.the.clothes,.and.take.care.of.the.children)..
B...Luke.10:38-42.
......1...I.realize.that.this.passage.is.not.about.mothers...(As.far.as.I.know,.the.Scriptures.never.mention.either.Martha.or.
...........Mary.as.being.mothers...Tradition.says.Martha.was.the.older.sister.who.was.widowed.and.who.took.her.brother.
...........and.sister.under.her.care)..
......2...What.we.do.know.about.them.was.that.they.lived.in.Bethany,.just.outside.Jerusalem—and.that.these.two.
...........sisters.faced.important.decisions—as.do.Christian.women.and.mothers.today..
C...Even.though.they.were.sisters,.they.were.very.different..
......1...I.would.suggest.that.our.text.applies.to.mothers,.women,.as.well.as.to.men..
......2...See.where.you."fit.in".today....
.
I...There.was.a.difference.in.FOCUS.
.
....A...Webster.defines.focus.as.the.point.where.reflected.rays.come.together—the.center...(What.was.it.that.these.two.
..........sisters.were.concerned.about;.what.was.the.focus.of.their.lives)?.
.
..........1...Martha.was.concerned.about.serving..
...............a...It's.safe.to.assume.that.she.was.excited.that.Jesus.was.coming.to.her.house....
...............b...It.was.customary.to.prepare.a.meal.for.any.guest.and.she.wanted.to.do.it.well...Ex:..
..........2...Martha's.service.was.not.a.bad.thing;.the.problem.was.much.serving....
...............a...The.Greek.word.here.for.serving.is.diakonia;.the.English.word."deacon".comes.from.this.word..
...............b...Serving.is.not.a.bad.thing,.but.Martha.had.allowed.it.to.become.the.focus.of.her.attention..
.
....B...Now.think.what.a.tragedy.it.is,.to.have.the.Lord.of.the.universe.in.your.house—and.you.are.too.busy.to.hear.
.........what.He.has.to.say....
.
.........1...May.I.make.a.hard.statement?..(Did.you.know.that.we.have.people.sitting.in.the.assembly.each.Lord's.Day,.
..............in.the.presence.of.the.same.Lord,.and.their.thoughts.are.10,000.miles.away?..They.are.too.busy.to.hear.was.
..............Jesus.is.telling.them.through.a.sermon)..
..............a...There.are.mothers.and.fathers.who.labor.hard.on.the.job,.working.to.build.a.future.for.themselves.and.
....................their.children,.but.they.give.very.little.time.or.attention.to.their.own.spiritual.needs.or.those.of.their.family..
..............b...Do.not.put.all.of.your.energy.into.that.which.is.only.temporary!.."Do.not.labor.for.the.food.which.perishes,.
....................but.for.the.food.which.endures.to.everlasting.life,.which.the.Son.of.Man.will.give.you,.because.God.the.
....................Father.has.set.His.seal.on.Him."..Jn..6:27.
.
..........2...Now.notice.Mary—she.was.sitting.at.the.Lord's.feet,.listening.to.His.word...(Mother,.Father—are.you.hearing.
...............His.word.today?..Are.you.taking.the.time.each.day.to.listen.to.Him?..Are.you.listening.to.him;.are.you.focused.
...............upon.Him?..(Mary.was.focused.on.Jesus.and.His.word.and.she.chose.the.better.part)..
.
II...There.was.a.difference.in.FELLOWSHIP.
.
......A...Pay.closer.attention.to.Mary—she.was.literally.sitting.right.in.front.of.the.feet.of.Jesus..
.
............1...She.wanted.to.get.as.close.to.Him.as.she.possibly.could;.she.didn't.want.to.miss.a.word.of.what.He.was.
.................saying....
.................a...Mary.knew.that.to.really.hear.Jesus,.she.had.to.shut.everything.else.out.and.focus.on.being.close.to.Him..
.................b...Ex:..Men,.have.you.ever.been.distracted.and.missed.a."bite".when.you.were.fishing?..Wives,.have.you.ever.
.......................been.talking.to.your.husband.and.he.kept.looking.past.you.to.see.something.on.TV?...
............2...We.are.not.told.that.Martha.was.in.a.specific.location;.we.are.just.told.that.she.was.cumbered.about.with.
.................much.serving..
.................a...One.version.uses.the.word."cumbered";.the.RSV.translates.it.as,."But.Martha.was.distracted.by.her.many.
.......................tasks…"..(Martha.was.drawn.away)..
.................b...Martha.was.allowing.her.tasks.to.draw.her.away.from.Christ....
.
......B...Hard.question:..How.many.times.have.we.welcomed.Christ.into.our.homes.and.lives.and.then.allow.other.things.
............to.consume.us.and.draw.our.attention.away.from.Him?.."Now.he.who.received.seed.among.the.thorns.is.he..
............hears.the.word,.and.the.cares.of.this.world.and.the.deceitfulness.of.riches.choke.the.word,.and.he.becomes.
............unfruitful."..Mt..13:22.
.
............1...When.we.become.overwhelmed.with.work.or.any.activity,.we.lose.fellowship.with.Jesus!..
.................a..."Therefore.we.must.give.the.more.earnest.heed.to.the.things.we.have.heard,.lest.we.drift.away."..Heb..2:1.
.................b...Ex:..I.read.about.two.pilots.who.were.30.minutes.late.in.landing.their.plane...When.the.stewardess.stepped..
.......................into.the.cockpit,.she.found.each.of.them.busily.playing.away.on.their.laptops...(They.had.lost.track.of.time.
.......................due.to.the.distraction.of.their.personal.computers)..............
............2...Ex:..I.read.a.story.of.a.man.who.had.just.bought.an.expensive.boat.and.kept.it.in.the.harbor.on.the.coast.of.
.................Florida...A.hurricane.warning.went.into.effect,.the.storm.was.brewing.just.off.of.the.coast.and.was.about.to.
.................hit.land...The.boat.owner.didn't.know.what.to.do;.he.had.made.a.huge.investment.in.this.boat.and.he.didn't.
.................want.to.lose.it...A.friend.advised.him,."Don't.attempt.to.tie.your.boat.to.the.dock.or.anything.on.land...It.will.
.................be.torn.to.pieces...Your.only.hope.is.to.anchor.deep...Take.four.anchors,.and.drop.them.deep,.and.let.the.
.................boat.ride.out.the.storm.".
.................a...Brethren,.if.you.don't.want.to.drift.away,.if.you.want.your.life.to.mean.something,.if.you.want.to.leave.
.......................your.children.an.example.of.what.it.means.to.be.a.Christian.and.go.to.heaven,.then.you.must.anchor.deep.
.......................in.your.fellowship.with.the.Lord.and.not.drift.away!.
.................b...Remember.again,.that.Mary.had.chosen.the.better.part..
.
III...There.was.a.difference.in.FEELINGS.
.
........A...Notice.what.Jesus.said.about.Martha:..You.are."anxious.and.troubled".(RSV),."worried.and.distracted".(NRSV),.
.............."worried.and.upset".(NIV)..
.
..............1...Song:.."What.a.friend.we.have.in.Jesus,.all.our.sins.and.griefs.to.bear...What.a.privilege.to.carry,.everything.to.
...................God.in.prayer...O.what.peace.we.often.forfeit,.O.what.needless.pain.we.bear,.all.because.we.do.not.carry.
..................everything.to.God.in.prayer.".
.............2...Martha.had.the.One.Who.could.speak.peace.to.the.storm,.the.Prince.of.peace,.right.in.her.home,.and.yet.she.
..................was.far.from.peaceful!.
.
........B...It.is.a.scary.world.we.live.in...(We.send.our.children.to.school.every.day.and.wonder.if.we.will.ever.see.them.
.............again...School.shootings,.bomb.threats,.kidnappings,.drugs,.alcohol,.etc..can.all.be.found.in.our.schools...If.you.
.............don't.want.to.go.crazy,.you.better.have.the.Prince.of.Peace.as.the.center.of.your.life)!.
.
.............1...Note.Mary..
..................a...The.Bible.doesn't.say.what.she.was.feeling;.it.just.tells.us.that.she.was.sitting.at.the.feet.of.the.Master..
..................b...She.focused.upon.Him.and.His.words,.but.I.know.she.was.feeling.peace..."You.will.keep.him.in.perfect.
........................peace,.whose.mind.is.stayed.on.You,.because.he.trusts.in.You."..Isa..26:3.
............2...Note.what.Jesus.said.to.Martha..
.................a..."One.thing.is.needed.".
.................b...Our.days.are.filled.with.activities.and.busy.schedules,.but.Jesus.said.one.this.is.needed/necessary...(Martha.
.......................was.busy,.but.what.would.it.had.mattered,.in.the.big.picture.of.eternity,.if.supper.had.been.a.few.minutes.
.......................late)?...
..........................A.woman.can.have.an.immaculate.house,.but.her.heart.can.be.empty.of.Christ..
..........................A.man.can.move.up.the.corporate.ladder.of.success,.but.then.miss.out.on.eternity..
.
Concl:.
A...Review:.
......1...There.was.a.difference.in.focus,.in.fellowship,.and.in.feelings..
......2...Mary.chose.the.better.part..
B...What.will.you.chose.today?.

 

--Mike Benson

Lancaster, New Hampshire

 

It was my privilege to accompany Kathy to spend the weekend with the Lord's church in Lancaster, New Hampshire.  The church there numbers about six on a typical Sunday.  Kathy spoke on a ladies day and there were about 20 ladies from Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont.  We had 10 on Sunday morning.  Tom Jackson, a Bear Valley graduate the Alpha Alpha Class (1979), is the preacher for the Northern Valley church of Christ.  He has spent many of his years since graduation persevering in the very difficult work that is ministry in the northeast.  A few weeks ago, in Utah, I learned the same about the state of the church there.  Less than two dozen congregations exist in that Mormon- dominated state.
 
My impression, worshipping with these saints, is that the sweetness of fellowship is intensified in how rare and precious it is.  In an area where there are tens of thousands of people, there are less than 20 Christians assembling.  You won't find singing that fills the building with full, gorgeous voices.  You won't the hustle and bustle of people filling up the seats and crowding in together.  You will find a handful of Christians thrilled to have each other's company and longing for their numbers to grow.
 
God has made the church a place where this kind of fellowship and kinship should exist.  It should be a place where we know about each others' lives and care about each others' well-being.  If someone is missing at Northern Valley, everyone is concerned and finds out why. That seems to be the approach of the first century church.  I am resolved not to take for granted the vital, fragile, and vibrant nature of the fellowship we enjoy with one another.  May we appreciate the tie that binds us together!

 

Neal Pollard

Talking behind someone's back

WHEN YOU TALK BEHIND SOMEBODY'S BACK, IT SHOW THAT THEY ARE AHEAD OF YOU.

 

What is war? A definition of war.

War never determines who is right, only who is left.

Zacharias was mute for 9 months

    Imagine that you were a mute for nine months. In those nine months thoughts of great importance would run through your mind but you would find yourself unable to express them to others. It would be hard to go one day without speaking, but to go nine months would certainly be an aggravating experience. However, imagine that this happened to you. Consider what your first words would be when you were once again able to speak. Would you use your words to complain about the nine months you just went through? Would you use them to discuss your thoughts that you previously had not been able to express? Would you use your words to speak to someone you missed speaking with? Certainly, there are a lot of ways that we could use those first words. However, when this very thing happened to Zacharias (the father of John the Baptist), his first words were used to praise God. Luke recorded that "Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed, and he spoke, praising God" (Luke 1:64). There is no greater use for our tongue than to praise the God who gave it to us. Lets make sure that our words are used to bring praise to God. 

 

Garrett Bookout